


Pathological Denial No Longer

by pamdizzle



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-18
Updated: 2013-03-18
Packaged: 2017-12-05 16:33:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/725441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pamdizzle/pseuds/pamdizzle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some facebook friends of mine requested some TOS!McCoy on Nu!McCoy action with hints of Scones. This is shameless porn with hints of plot. More plot to come in the third and final installment and perhaps some fluff and of course...more porn. LOL</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pathological Denial No Longer

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CountryDoctor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CountryDoctor/gifts).



 

"What the hell do you think you're doin?!" McCoy yelled at... _himself_. They'd been traveling in deep space, headed toward their next mission when scanners had picked up on a strange signature. They'd been shocked to discover a shuttle--an older, less advanced version of one of the Enterprise's own, and even more shocking--an older and less advanced version of one Leonard H. McCoy himself.

 

His older self frowned, "I'm only tryin' to turn you on to something about yourself you refuse to see, hot shot."

 

"Don't start with the nicknames," Bones growled, "and get the hell offa me--"

 

He was silenced with a forceful kiss, and a skilled hand--his own hand, slightly older and clearly more practiced--on his treacherous organ. It hardened and filled under his other self's careful caress. "Don't lie to yourself, Len," his own voice whispered into his ear, hot and ragged against the lobe. "You've fantasized about it, you go to bed with the images in your head, you look at him like he's the only thing in existence...and what's holding you back but you?"

 

"You don't what the hell you're talkin' about," McCoy vehemently denied, even as his hips began rocking into the hand cupping his cock through his trousers. They were pressed up tight against the bulk head behind the desk in his personal quarters. "It...it ain't like that."

 

"You want him," his older self continued, the clasps of his trousers clicking apart with an unholy 'snap'. "You've wanted him for months...but you're a goddamned coward."

 

Bones squeezed his eyes shut, but behind them he found no escape. His counterpart hadn't said the name, but unbidden Scotty's image took form and suddenly, it was the Engineer's hand in his pants, stroking his cock and sucking his neck. Bones groaned, ashamed and needy all at once. His heart clenched and his jaw tightened as that mouth, _his_ mouth, closed over an exposed nipple, sucking and biting until he was shaking with desire. He was right...Leonard knew he could lie to everyone, to Jim, to Spock, hell even to Scotty...but he couldn't...he'd never been one to lie to himself.

 

"Monty..." the name slipped past his lips before he could stop it and he felt his own lips smile against his nipple.

 

"That's right..." the Georgia accent drawled triumphantly, and Bones sobbed despite himself, crumpling over under the weight of his admission.

 

He was cradled to the floor by an embrace he'd never been on the other side of and it was...nice... _comforting_. "It's alright, darlin'," his older self hushed, his hand rubbing circles between his shoulder blades. "I know it's hard. Let me show you that it doesn't have to be."

 

"I..." Bones swallowed, slowly regaining some control of himself. He never finished the sentence, at least not verbally, but he ceased his attempts to fight it--to fight it all. If he was attracted to Scotty, and he was admitting it to himself...then, he didn't want to be completely inexperienced. Here was an opportunity to see...all by himself...if he was really capable of what he'd found himself wanting for lately.

 

His counterpart lowered him to the floor, kissing him gently all over--his lips, his temple, his ears and jaw. The hands he knew so well, hands he himself possessed, traversed his body expertly. This time, he didn't close his eyes. McCoy watched in silence as large, male hands slowly pulled his pants from his legs, as they took time to gently knead his calves and knees, coming up to caress his thighs and hips.

 

McCoy's hands moved of their own volition to pull his counterpart's shirt over his head, to tweak and pad over pebbled nipples and down lower to follow a trail that lead to roads well traveled. When his older self was crouching above him, completely naked with his cock hard and leaking...reaching down toward McCoy's own turgid flesh...he couldn't resist reaching out to grasp it, stroke it...savor the surreality of it all.

 

He was only touching himself, he tried to reason...but he had promised himself he wouldn't lie about it anymore and so Leonard admitted internally that he was also, in doing so, touching _another man_... _wanting_ another man...and wanting to be touched in return. As if his counterpart were telepathic, his mouth descended and stole his lips in kiss that told of mutual longing and desire. He buried his hands in thick, soft brown hair...his own hair, slightly lighter with a bit of added age and he moaned.

 

"Oh...oh _please_..." McCoy begged breathlessly of himself.

 

"You're sure you're ready...there ain't no going back afterward," his counterpart warned, then chuckled through a smirk, "not that you'll want to."

 "I..." Bones nodded stiffly, "I want this..."

 "Alright then," the older doctor smiled slightly, his blue eyes shining with a mixture of pride and compassion. "We probably shouldn't do this on the floor." He held out a hand, and McCoy regarded it nervously for a minute before accepting.

"I can't believe I'm going to go through with this," he muttered, brown eyes on the floor as he deftly moved toward his sleeping alcove. A warm hand wrapped around his elbow and he was pulled into another embrace.

"Quit worryin' so much," his own voice danced into his ear and, surprisingly, had the desired effect. McCoy had always been aware of his ability to bring calm to someone in crisis, it was part of what made him the renowned doctor he was, but it was somewhat unnerving to have his own techniques wielded on himself and to be so easily affected by them.

"Damn, this is crazy..." Bones breathed, his forehead resting on his the other man's shoulder. He turned his head slightly and eyed the bed from the corner of his eye, "How..." he cleared his throat, "I have no idea what I'm doing..."

"Relax," came the lazy, drawled reply. "Are you always this tense, Len? You know you’re gonna give yourself a coronary."

"I'm a doctor too, you know," Bones shot back, but his tone lacked its usual bite, "I don't need to be lectured by myself on healthy stress levels."

"If the hobgoblin were here, he'd probably point out that. technically, I'm not you and you aren't me..."

"Oh great, now I'm gonna be picturin' Spock and his--Whoooa!" Leonard was unceremoniously shoved onto the bed.

"That's enough talkin' for now," his counterpart grinned devilishly. "The point is, this ain't masturbation or any form thereof. If you're really going to be honest with yourself, McCoy, you're gonna to have to admit that you’re hot and bothered for another man's cock."

"I know that!" Leonard had just gotten done with that particular inner debate, but he let his eyes rake over this other version of himself anyway...just so it would sink in completely. Blue eyes... _blue_...not his...stared back at him, the lithe frame, less stocky that his own, crept over him with a grace Leonard wasn't sure he'd ever possess and finally, the hands. They were just like his own, only...slightly thinner just like the rest of the man, the fingers a little longer and a bit more weathered.

McCoy swallowed hard, he was about to have sex with another man for the first time in his life. His cock leapt at the thought and his heard pounded in his ear. This man both was and wasn't himself at the same time...and so with the sense of uncertainty that came with what he was about to do, knowing the person opposite him as he did, there was also comfort. His skin was covered in goosebumps despite it being flushed with heat and anticipation. _My God...I really_ do _want this..._

"Where do we start?" He asked suddenly, knowing that the other him was waiting for complete consent. His bedside manner _was_ impeccable after all.

"Well..." his counterpart drew out the syllable, suddenly completely serious. “When I first discovered an attraction to another man, I was awfully damned nervous about doing all the things I used to expect a female partner to do for me."

"Okay," Leonard took a calming breath; that sounded about right, actually. "Let's start there, then. I'm feeling pretty goddamned nervous about… _that_ , you're right."

The older him grinned gently, "'Course I am. Here." He helped Bones get into a more comfortable position, his head supported by both of the pillows on his bed, the blanked bunched up behind his upper back so that he was only half sitting up, half laying down. His counterpart was now at the side of his face, on his knees, cock jutting out.

"Why don't you give it a taste?" he asked huskily, and Bones felt all the air leave his lungs.

He licked his lips and took a deep breath. Leaning the majority of his weight on his left elbow, he rolled over slightly and grasped the leaking organ with his right hand. McCoy's eyes shot up to meet the deep blue gaze of his older self before allowing his tongue to slip past his lips and lick the head clean of a clear stripe of moisture.

"Mmmph," the older man exhaled through flared nostrils, then regarded him through slit eye lids. "Not as bad as you thought it’d be, am I right?"

Bones allowed his tongue a moment to absorb the slightly salty tang of his own pre-ejaculate, "I could get used to it."

More confident than before, Leonard licked it again, from base to tip, and closed his eyes at the pleasure of it...not the taste, but liberating realization of what he was doing, of how good it felt to be doing it, of how much he just wanted to...

"Hah…hah…damn…now you’re gonna give me a coronary..." his counterpart panted, hand threading into the hard at the back of his neck, guiding Leonard back forth along his length..

It seemed natural--hell, he'd seen it done to himself enough times, knew what he liked the most--and so it was gloriously arousing and enlightening to be on the other end of it. To be the one giving the pleasure...to feel the power and heat of his own maleness sliding in and out between his wet, swollen lips. His cock gave another painful throb and he moaned around the cock in his mouth, his eyes rolling into the back of his head at the headiness of it all.

Slowly, McCoy felt himself rolling back onto his back, the older doctor following his mouth wherever it went. He freed it for a moment and grabbed his own erection, "Why don’t you do us both a favor and let me watch you fuck my face," he rasped his desire, surprised at his own filthy litany.

The older him smirked and placed his hand on the headboard before moving a knee to either side of Leonard's biceps. He slowly lowered his hips until the tip of his cock was prodding at Bones' chin, "Open wide, doctor," his other self crooned.

McCoy complied, moaning loudly when the same cock he held in his hand began dipping in and out of his mouth, teasingly at first, then a little deeper...and deeper still, just to the point where they both knew his gag reflex would react. Bones stroked his cock in time with his counterpart’s pace.

Leonard furrowed his brow in confusion when the older doctor withdrew his penis, only to have it replaced with a pair of lightly furred testicles. He raised a dubious brow then remembered that this was one of his favorite things and it was something he wanted to do for Monty if he ever grew the balls to go there, and so sucked them into his mouth. He gripped the other McCoy’s ass with both hands pushed himself up on his elbows to lick and suck hungrily. His counterpart rode his face in abandon, hands stroking the spit-soaked shaft McCoy had been sucking on minutes ago, head thrown back and mouth open and moaning. _Damn…is that what I look like when I’m…_

Leonard’s thoughts were cut short when his mouth was suddenly empty and his slightly older, but still nicely curved backside was rolling off the bed. A knot formed in the center of his stomach, “Am I that terrible at it?”

Blue eyes were on him then, furrowed, “She really did a number on you, didn’t she?” He turned back and picked up his discarded pants, pulling something from a pocket before coming back over to the bed. “You aren’t _bad at it_.”

McCoy grit his teeth and averted his eyes. The hell was wrong with him? He wasn’t some damned virgin school girl. What did he care if he wasn’t any good at this shit? This was stupid. He made to get up but was pulled back down and held there, “Get the hell off me. I changed my damned mind.”

“Like hell,” the older man grumbled; and yet, when he climbed onto Leonard’s body and kissed him, it was gentle and compassionate, more intimate than it had any right to be. “There’s something I learned about myself a long time ago, Len,” he whispered, brushing the bangs from Bones’ forehead. “It’s that you and I didn’t do anything wrong.”

McCoy averted his eyes—this wasn’t how this was supposed to go. “Look, I don’t wanna talk about—”

Another kiss, the body against his wedging itself between his thighs, which fell open invitingly without consulting his brain for permission first. It shut him up effectively.

“Your Jocelyn never loved you, mine never loved me…and I spent years…wasted so much time wondering what _I_ did wrong…what _I_ could have changed. Len, it wasn’t you.”

Leonard tried to rouse his sarcasm, tried to blow it off like he did with Jim, but instead he choked on the empty feeling in his lungs. “God it’s been over four years.”

“That woman is a goddamned succubus,” his older self huffed and they shared a chuckle over their mutual hatred for the Ex.

It was McCoy this time, propping himself up on his elbows, who initiated the kiss. It didn’t end until his body was singing, his cock pressed up pleasantly against…well, his cock. He chuckled against the other man’s lips even as he arched up to meet the hips undulating down onto his. His legs spread open even wider and he threw his head back when his counterpart reached down, his fingers slick with medical lubricant, to massage and circle his entrance.

“Go…” Bones was panting, could hardly breathe with how badly he wanted this, “go slow…”

“Shh…” it was a breath against his temple, “Don’t worry. I’m a doctor, after all, not a Klingon.”

Leonard chuckled despite his nerves and closed his eyes as soft lips kissed down the length of his body, slow and carefully. The fingers at his tight, virgin channel were maddeningly gentle, pressing intently against it, but going no further.

“Unnggaph…” he moaned as his cock was engulfed and he fought to keep from shooting off the bed. It was in that moment of distraction that he was skillfully breached, the long slender digit slipping inside and expertly curling to nudge at his prostate.

Bones was incoherent, past the point of knowing what was up and what was down. His chest was heaving, his legs open and bent at the knee as he desperately sought more—more of the mouth on his cock, more the stretch and pull of those fingers in his ass.

It seemed to go on forever, and any doubts he had remaining about whether or not he could find this kind of physicality arousing were utterly diminished. His eyes closed as he drove his hips up and down seeking penetration and submersion, and it was easy to imagine that it was Monty wrapped around him and in him and he cried out in frustration. “God…more…just...hah…enough…”

His counterpart silently complied, his mouth slipping from McCoy’s organ with a wet pop, those surgeon fingers, how many Leonard didn't know, hadn't been paying attention, slipping out and leaving him momentarily bereft. Leonard allowed himself to be maneuvered, raised his hips so a pillow could be placed underneath, putting his hind end on proper display.

His alternate self gently lifted his legs and pushed them forward over Bones’ torso. McCoy looked down to see a perfect replica of his own cock nudging up against his opening and then slowly, slickly pushing in until the head disappeared. “Oh…” he tossed his head back and groaned, his body relaxing and allowing the shaft to slip in with ease.

“How’s that?” his counterpart asked, shouldering Leonard's’ knees as he slowly withdrew and pushed forward once more, this time fully seating himself inside.

 _It's unbelievable is what it was…_ “S’good,” he panted, “didn’t think…I…didn’t think I’d like it.”

“It gets even better,” the doctor promised silkly. “Ain’t neither of us gonna last long.”

“Yes,” Leonard answered shakily, but surely. His body was dying for more…more heat, more pressure, more sliding and pushing, “I’m ready…please…please move.”

He did. Slow and measured at first, taking time to get McCoy used to the intrusion, to find that perfect angle so he could pound it into submission. When Leonard howled in pleasure, his counterpart knew he’d struck a nerve and quickened his pace…doubled his force, knowing that was exactly what he wanted.

“Oh! Fuck, yes…”

The alternate version of himself drove into him over and over, spearing him as deeply as possible, his heavy sack slapping against McCoy’s ass. And he wanted…all of it…harder…faster…deeper… _now…_

His cock was throbbing painfully, despite the fact that he’d been stroking it from the word go. It crested way too fast, and he knew he was coming before his balls tightened in orgasm, pumping his semen up his cock and out, all over his chest and stomach. The sight of Leonard coming, the squeeze of his quaking hole, was apparently enough to bring his counterpart over the edge as well and their cries mingled together in the air above them.

When Leonard woke up some hours later, clean and warmly tucked into the covers, the ‘other him’ had already gone. Leaving a note in his place.

_Len,_

_Now you know. Don’t waste time the way I did. I’ll see you in the shuttle bay at 1300._

_Sincerely,_

_Your older, far wiser self._

McCoy allowed himself a small lopsided grin as he thought about what he would do next, how he would approach what he wanted, now that he knew for sure what that was. There was no denying it now and after last night, he knew, he’d never again feel the need to do so. He was a doctor after all, not a pathological liar—especially not to himself. Not anymore.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Stay tuned for a bonus chapter, in which Bones confesses to Scotty and perhaps some more naught bits will ensue...We will see, we will see. LOL

**Author's Note:**

> I also write original m/m erotica fiction, if you're interested. You can find it [here](http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/index.php?cPath=55_1117)


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